Leave of Absence

Well I must apologize again for disappearing for two months. It is ridiculously easy to ignore this space particularly when one is embarrassed at how long she has done so! My apologies.

 Lent was rather more difficult than I expected. Not because of my rather modest list of the things I was going to do during Lent. No. That wasn't the problem. It was God's addition to the list that threw me for a loop. God decided I should fast from work and therefore income for Lent. I injured my arm on February 12th and haven't been back to work since.

Three and half months of waiting, and questions and unknowns. It meant giving up all certainty and long range planning for the future. It's been an endless waiting and question mark. When will I go back to work? When will I see the physical therapist? When will my arm heal? How long is this going to last? and how am I going to pay my bills?

I would like to say I handled it with grace but the truth is I didn't. I went into denial and avoidism. I did stick to my guns and read zero fiction during Lent. Which given the situation is astonishing. But I did watch hours and hours of T.V. way more than usual. It has been very challenging to learn to trust, to ask for help, to admit weakness and to live in uncertainty. Slowly and with great wailing and gnashing of teeth I've come to acceptance. But to share that in this public space seemed impossible and it was so much easier to just be quiet.

God, of course, responded with His usual grace and I am fully provided for even if I did have to ask for the help.  I'm currently in Physical Therapy and seeing excellent progress. If the pain stays away and I'm able to continue increasing my strength I'll go back to work within the next month.

I would like to say I'm back. I'd like to say that now you'll see me regularly posting. But my track record shows it would better to say only this.

I'm going to try.

7 Quick Takes vol 11

--- 1 ---

Well, I've completely failed at the commitment for Quick Takes Friday every week. I've decided to release myself from that commitment to every week. I realized the format doesn't work for me as well as I thought it would. I really like writing the more in depth posts so that's what I'm going to concentrate on. But I think it's served it's purpose in making me more aware of time passing so that I realize I need to post more often. You'll still see the occasional quick takes post. Like today. :)

--- 2 ---

It's March. Seriously. and I don't have the excuse that I'm crazy busy. I've actually been very laid back. It's Lent already and we're already preparing for Triduum in choir. Holy cow! I've always felt the first part of the year is like this slide right into June but I was hoping to stretch it out a bit more this year. I've still got all of March right?

--- 3 ---

So Lent is here. And I'm not sure how I feel about it. I've read the whole gamut of responses about Lent from  I love lent! to ugh. why is lent here? I guess I feel I was already in Lent so nothing's really changed. Since I started my book fast in January it makes sense. Still fasting. no change. :)

--- 4 ---

One reason I have had a lot of time is that I strained my arm at work and have been not working in order to rest it. This is the third week off and it's getting better.  But I've had a lot of free time. Which I've spent watching all 4 seasons of Burn Notice and now I'm regretting going so fast because the 5th season probably won't be available till this summer. Arrrggh.

--- 5 ---

I'm reading Jesus of Nazareth by Joseph Ratzinger and it's blowing my mind. So much I didn't know about what the Church believes about Jesus and then just his articulate and expressive writing is amazing.

--- 6 ---

I was able to have lunch with my godmother this week something I love doing. And I'm going to see my sister this afternoon which is awesome. So life is good

--- 7 ---

Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

The Perfect Day

What's your idea of a perfect day?

No obligations?
Don't have to go anywhere?
Lots of activities?
People to hang out with?

I have been pondering the concepts of work and leisure, rest and pleasure, obligation and satisfaction, fun and freedom.  We are taught by our culture that certain things are 'fun' and certain things are dreary drudgery. Usually fun is associated with vacation, exotic places, beautiful people, alcohol and sex. Drudgery equals obligation, 'have-to's' and work. Particularly the day in, day out, type of work.

What if they're wrong? What if fun is knowing who you're going to work with today? fun is having a structure and commitments and obligations in place? What if freedom is working?

If you would have asked me a year ago what my perfect day would be, it would have involved no obligations at all. Don't have to go anywhere or do anything. I would have been free to read all day long if I wanted to or just lounge in the sun. If someone else decided to fix all my food for me that would have been a great bonus. :)

Now I'm not so sure this is really fun. Or more accurately, satisfying. We equate fun with free. But what about being satisfied? emotionally? creatively? spiritually? relationally?

Freedom seems to mean release from all bonds. But nature shows us that being freed from all bonds is nuclear destruction. Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Death and destruction. not fun.

What if true freedom is found with in bonds? In-bounds? What if freedom is living within a structure that allows us to grow? the right bonds of course. There are bonds that bring death just as much as no bonds does. But given the right structure to grow in, can't there be freedom of flow and of growth? that brings satisfaction and produces fruit?

Wouldn't this be truly fun? to be satisfied?

7 Quick Takes Winter Wallop edition

--- 1 ---

If last week was quiet, this week was anything but! We've been dealing with snow and ice all week here in the Northwest. It started with a surprise 1/2 in last Saturday and snowballed from there. (Yes that was intentional.:) We ended up with an initial 6 ins of snow, a 1/2 in to 1 in of ice and a second layer of snow about 1 1/2 in thick . Our poor trees were bent down to the ground. We have at least two dozen branches down. All at least 6-10 ft long and 2-3 in diameter. Definitely the most we've ever had at one time. We'll have lovely time clearing all that. Eventually. Once the weather clears. :)

--- 2 ---

This was the first year we've had snow that I've had to go out in it. Something about a job and needing money. Anyway I haven't driven much in snow and had a crash course on Sunday getting from church to work. Fortunately it didn't involve in any actual crashing. Just a lot of nerves and traffic and 3-4 in of fresh snow. That probably doesn't sound like much to you Midwest and East coast people but it's pretty dramatic  for us Seattleites. We just don't know how to drive in that dratted white stuff and when you add steep curvy roads and a small, if valiant, snow crew, it just isn't pretty.

--- 3 ---

Which is why schools were shut down for the week. It's the only way to get people off the roads. Plus of course, we had a much bigger storm come in on Wednesday. That was fun. It precipitated for 48 hours straight. Snow, snow pellets, ice pellets, and freezing rain. Which is what really did the damage. I estimate that,  at our house, 2/3 of those precipitation hours were a very fine, very steady freezing rain.

--- 4 ---

I fortunately didn't have to go anywhere after Monday, and most people stayed home on Wednesday. But evidently lack of food, and electricity and having kids home all week drove a lot of people out today. We woke up this morning to above freezing temps and chunks of ice plummeting off the trees so people were more inclined to venture out. But it sure was a sloppy mess of water, ice and slush when I walked Darcy!

--- 5 ---

We lost power last night with two very loud BZZZZZT's accompanied by bright white flashes of green. Very unnerving. We coped pretty well with our gas and wood stove today and lots of candles. My mom even finished painting the family room. But my dad was quite relieved to have the power come back on an hour ago. This is longest we've been without power for probably 10-12 years.

--- 6 ---

I can't forget to mention that Darcy has had an absolutely splendid week. He LOVES snow and had a ball running around in it nearly every day. Though the crunchy stuff the last two days have been a bit more challenging. :)

--- 7 ---

I hope ya'll have great weekend! We are looking forward to a normal weekend of rain. :) 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes vol 10

--- 1 ---

I feel like I don't have anything to write about this week. Siblings are all gone. winter decor is up. I'm working on being more disciplined in household chores. Like cleaning the bathroom more than once a month. Ick. Not particularly noteworthy or spectacular. Just quiet trying to improve things. Oddly this makes me sound like I'm down which I haven't been. I just have this to do list that's haunting me.

--- 2 ---

Mostly because one of the items is apply for a particular job. Since I cant' find a job posting I"m thinking I"m going to have to walk in and hand them my resume. Which I've never done before. And completely freaks me out. It goes completely against the grain for me. Both in personality and internal mental training which says 'you never push yourself forward for notice like that. Because you might get it and you might not like it!' GAH. Why can't they have a dedicated career email address like other people? I like email. It's safe. :)

--- 3 ---

Since I've nothing much to say this week go check out Elizabeth Esther's post on laundry . Made me laugh.

--- 4 ---

She's the one who introduced me to Henri Nouwen. And I've got to say I like his stuff. I'm reading his Here and Now: Living in the Spirit. And I'm reading a bit at a time. Which is very unusual for me. I'm more of a devourer. Here's a website to learn more. One of his tidbits is to celebrate birthdays because they are celebrations of your life, the fact that you exist. Definitely a thought I need to counter my gloomy obsession with my age and still being single.

--- 5 ---

Another way to counter that is to start reflecting on the passage of time since the life of Christ. I've been writing down dates for ancestors that are working their way back into the 1600's and that's a really long time ago. There are even people who can trace ancestry back a 1000 years which astounding. But then you put that next to the 2000 years since Christ lived. And you start to feel like a tiny sprig. "28 yrs? A mere nothing. A trifling length of time." I'm not really all that old. :)

--- 6 ---

It's amazing how you can feel that you're all fit and stuff 'cause you walk a few times a week and do massage for a living. But then you start this new stretching routine and you feel like a complete wimp because you can only do a 10-15 seconds and it feels like it's KILLING you. I feel the difference. It really is good for me. (can you hear the pep talk?) But man is it hard to do regularly when it hurts like the BLUE BLAZES. Anyways. Any ideas on making a regular stretching part of my normal routine and fun? :)

--- 7 ---

Darcy is lying next to me looking at me with mournful eyes so I'm going to take him out to play. Have a great weekend everyone!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes vol 9

--- 1 ---

Seriously it's Friday already? I've been switching back and forth between play mode and work mode all week. Because when I was working I had lots of work and then there were all these holidays I was supposed to celebrate in between. I'm glad for both, don't get me wrong. I just don't switch between modes very quickly and I was constantly feeling a little behind as a result.

--- 2 ---

Friday also means my sister leaves tomorrow for 6 mths. :( I'm going to miss her like crazy but I'm really happy she's found her place and is so happy in it. Before she goes though, we have one last family dinner tonight. Even my brother will be here for it which is great!

--- 3 ---

Did you know that the 1940 Census data will be made public on April 2nd of this year? Did you know there is a 72 yr privacy restriction on census data? Did you know there is an entire website devoted to this release? Did you know it's going to be really, really fun to track down my grandparents and great uncles and aunts? :)

--- 4 ---

That reminds I don't think I mentioned any of my Christmas gifts. Some of them were nice and practical, like screwdrivers and car mats but the really awesome gift? An entire months' subscription to Ancestry.com, the biggest genealogical site out there! And the most expensive, hence the gift and hence the one month. But boy howdy have I been having fun! And then there's the little gift I bought for myself: the full genealogical software program I've been wanting forever (months anyways :)!  *sigh* I'm happy.

--- 5 ---

The other gift/work item I bought myself was an entire set of stretching DVD's teaching me how to stretch to counteract all the computer sitting and massaging and driving I do. It's awesome! My neck totally feels better.

--- 6 ---

All right, enough geeky stuff. If you're ever looking for a really great historical fiction mystery involving monks and knights and English lords you should totally check out Ellis Peters. Her Brother Cadfael series is amazing. I seriously love these books. They always have very satisfying endings. If Brother Cadfael was real he totally would be my patron saint. He's awesome.

--- 7 ---

Happy Epiphany to those of you celebrating today! I get to wait till Sunday. 

Have a great weekend!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes New Year's Eve edition

--- 1 ---

I got off work early today. It's nice but weird. I've been home for hours and still don't have to go to bed. :)

--- 2 ---

I chose not to do anything exciting tonight. A little reading, a little genealogical research, a little T.V. Nothing special. Plenty of Christmas cookies though. :) Darcy is hiding in his kennel because of the random fireworks going off outside. He hates them, poor thing.

--- 3 ---

I had a fantastic Christmas. I hope you did too. Lots of time with the family as well as with my brother's girlfriend and her family. Unfortunately they both, my brother and his girlfriend, went back to school to attend a friends wedding tonight. So he's gone already.

--- 4 ---

Therefore I'm a little blue tonight. I love family stuff and it's hard to see them go. Especially when I know I have to go sometime too.

--- 5 ---

That wasn't a hint. I don't have any plans yet. I just know it's time for me to move out of my parent's house. This is my goal for the next 3-6 months. I'm not particularly excited about it. I don't like change. But it's time so I"m going to see about doing it.

--- 6 ---

Unfortunately this means a little job hunting, because I need more income to afford rent around here. So prayers for another or second job and a good place to live would be great.

--- 7 ---

Well 2012 is about here. I hope it is a fabulous year for ya'll. Happy New Year! St. Peter, pray for us. 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!